NO SHOES ON THE CARPET!

So if you remember, one of my goals for this year was to read two books per month.  I can say for certain that I have not done that but I have been reading and I have some books queued up to read.  Here’s what I have so far…..

Books I’ve Read

• The Gunslinger (Dark Tower series book1) – by Stephen King
• Cross by James Patterson – after reading this, I decided I was going to read all fo the alex cross books in order.  There are a bunch of them.
• Utterly Monkey by Nick Laird
• The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
• The Broker by John Grisham

Books to Read

• Step on a Crack by James Patterson (currently reading)
• Alex Cross Series of books – 12 books
• The Raw Shark Tales by Steven Hall
• Then We Came to an End by Joshua Ferris
• Claption: the Autobiography by Eric Clapton
• The Innocent Man by John Grisham
• An Air That Kills:  How the Asbestos Poisoning of Libby, Montana, Uncovered a Scandel by Andrew Schneider

I’m sure there are plenty of other books to read but thats all I have so far.  Open for suggestions though.

Those of you who know me know that I’ve been moving into a new place over the last couple of weeks.  During this time, I’ve had no Internet and no cable to occupy my free time.  So Friday, I decided it was time to make good on one of my goals for 2008, to read more.  I stopped by Barnes & Noble and picked up two books to start me off, James Patterson’s Cross and Nick Laird’s Utterly Monkey.  I’m a novice reader and had no rhyme or reason to buy either of these books except I’ve been interested in the Alex Cross character simply from the movies or from word of mouth.  And Utterly Monkey was a bargain book that sounded interesting.

So having nothing to do on Saturday but wait for DirecTV to come and tell me that I couldn’t have my satellite due to a big ass tree, I picked up Cross and settled into my oversized leather chair which is almost too comfortable to read in due to me wanting to take a nap.  Wow, that was a really long run on sentence.  The first thing that you notice about the book and probably Patterson’s writing style, is that the chapters are plentiful and generally only lasting 2 or 3 pages.  Patterson also does a good job of sinking you into the story, combining with the short chapters, helps the story flow pretty quick.  Which is good, because if a book doesn’t have my attention within the first 30 pages, I won’t usually continue it.

So Cross is a character continuation from a group of previously published books, most recognizable is Along Came a Spider.  The book switches from a 1st person perspective of the main character, Alex Cross, and a third person of Michael Sullivan.  Alex Cross is a DC cop, FBI agent, and a private practice therapist who juggles the complexities of being a single parent and a top-notch investigator.  The book follows him as he investigates a serial rapist/murderer who may have also been involved in the murder of his wife.  Michael Sullivan is a hit-man, a sadistic killer, and the serial rapist that Cross is hunting.  He also goes by the name, the Butcher of Sligo, for obvious reasons.  His specialty is killing and/or raping young professional women and them having them live in fear that if they talk, he returns with his tool of choice – the scalpel.

The book is intense and I found it hard to put it down once it got going.  Maybe I should have starting reading Patterson’s books when Alex Cross was first introduced.  I’m not sure if they are written in chronological order or as separate stories with the same main character.  I’m sure I’ll find out though as I intend to read the books in series.

Next up, Utterly Monkey.

Taken from Bash.org, provided by Andrew:

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word “wand” with “wang” in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let’s see the results…

<JonJonB> “Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry.
<JonJonB> “Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an’ everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang… this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> “Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work.”
<JonJonB> “Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. ”

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> “Oh, move over,” Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry’s wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, ‘Alohomora!”

<JonJonB> The troll couldn’t feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wang had still been in his hand when he’d jumped – it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> “Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> ‘Get – off – me!’ Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

So I finally finished this book. Wasn’t too hard with all of this free time in Olathe, I know you’re still jealous. This was probably the first time I’ve read a book in over three years. I guess I have Anne to thank for that. It’s a good book, though I imagine some of you have already read it being that it is roughly 30 years old. In a nutshell, its a story of love and hate, life and death, mind control, science, and aliens. Although, it really doesn’t get involved with the aliens, they’re just there to fill a part of the story. I was going to write a description of the book but I’ll just plug another reader’s comments:

“Ender’s Game not only manages to have a strong message, but it is also a joy to read. The plot is enthralling, the characters are complex and realistic, and the descriptions of the battleroom fill your head with fantastic images that make you wish your school had been like this, without the burden of saving humanity. The subplot involving Valentine and Peter is superb and cannot fail to inflame every reader’s megalomaniacal side. Though the book is about children, it never condescends and gives kids the credit for the intelligent creatures they are (a big plus for teenage readers). The characters are exceptionally bright, but they are still identified as five- to twelve-year olds, not as mini-adults. It’s no wonder that so many gifted young readers have made the statement, “I am Ender.” I hope “Ender’s Game” is able to make the rare crossover from lowly sci-fi to recognized, so-called “legitimate” literature.”

So, if you haven’t yet read this book, then I would suggest doing so. It reads really easy and is hard to put down. Enjoy.

DAY TWO

So today, class was again not to exciting.  I mean, I grasp everything that is being taught, it just isn’t that exciting.  Anyways, we are working a case project of extending Commerce’s internet resources to the mobile/wireless group.  And I’m in a group of techies and the techies are getting to technical with the project and its going to take 10 years to get it done.  Too bad we only have 3.5 hours tomorrow to finish it.  I’m sure this doesn’t make any sense but I care not to go into details.

More importantly, what the hell am I going to do tonight?  I really could use a drink but I don’t like drinking alone.  I could go see another movie but I don’t like seeing movies at the theatre alone.  I could drive into the city but I, well, you get the drift.  Maybe I’ll just stay in the room and smoke my crack and finish reading Ender’s Game.

DAY 1

This class is going to be terribly boring I fear.

I went to the AMC 380 right across the street from the hotel and watched Inside Man, starring my boy Denzel.  It was a pretty good movie.  It had that Denzel movie feeling mixed with a 50’s Detective them.  Clive Owen played a really good role as the “Bank Robber”.  It was smart, witty, funny, and satisfying.  Satisfying meaning, the bad guys are good guys and all is well that ends well.

THE FLIGHT

So I ended up getting to the airport around 5:00pm with my plane departing at 6:25.  Security checkpoints were empty so it only took about 10 minutes to get to my gate.  I sit down, whip out Ender’s Game, and planned on reading for an hour until I could board the plane.  20 minutes later, its pitch black outside and I see a bitch of a storm rolling in.  Well thats ok, it wont last.  And it didnt so I knew my flight would not be delaying.  [intercom clicks on]

“Attention passengers on flight 205, your flight to KC and Los Angeles is being delayed because of the storms in Louisville,” says the male gate attendant with really, disturbingly short shorts.

“FUCK!!” says I.

“We expect your plane to arive around 8 pm with immediate departure after that.”

“Damn it all to hell!!”

So I didn’t get out of St. Louis until 9:15.  By the time I was in KC, picked up my rental car (Sebring – ROCK!!), and got to my hotel it was already 11:45.  Plus my hotel is 45 minutes from the airport and it was pouring the entire way.  What a great start to the trip.  Oh plus they are calling for storms and possibly tornadoes later this week so that should be fun.